4.3.1 Being a Good Observer

К оглавлению
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 
34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 
51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 
68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 
85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 
102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 
119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 

The usual, day-to-day alternative to the repertory grid! Of course, you can

identify the way in which people construe events and circumstances from

their general behaviour, as you interact with them. You look at what they do,

and the way they do it. From this, you try to see how they understand the

situation you’re both in; the distinctions and similarities they recognise as events

unfold. What do they consider to be ‘the same’, and therefore unremarkable?

What, for them, stands out and grabs their attention?

The more you care about your interaction with other people, the more likely it

is that you will try to see things from their point of view in order to interact

more effectively with them.

Kelly felt that thiswas soimportant that hebuilt it intohistheoryasa formalstatement.

Foralist of these see Appendix 6.His Sociality Corollary states:‘To the extent that one

person construes the construction process of another, he may play a role in a social

process involving the other person.’ Role relationships, he’s saying (such as the

relationship between a learner and a teacher; an employee and the owner of the

firm; a person and his or her partner), depend for their success on the extent to

which each person can see events of mutual importance through the other person’s

eyes.

This may seem obvious ^ until you realise what Kelly is not saying. Successful role

relationships do not necessarily depend on people seeing the world (construing the

meaning of events) in the same way.We don’t have to have the same constructs as

other people to relate to them effectively. All that’s required is that we learn a little

about their constructs, especially those which result in them seeing the same events

differently to ourselves.

There’s one exception. In those close situationsinwhich the other person’s constructs

matter to us because they help to confirm how we think about ourselves (as in

friendship formation, therapy, and marriage), having some shared constructs helps

(Duck,1973; Neimeyer & Neimeyer,1985; Leitner & Pfenninger,1994).

That apart, we can relate effectively even though our constructs differ (so long as we

know this), and to the extent that weknow what the other person’s constructs are.

There are several ways in which you can use a grid to check your own

attempts at sociality through observation, and the main procedure is described

in Section 9.2.3.

People vary in how well they can put themselves in other people’s shoes.

Sometimes, the very pressure of events prevents you from getting a good ‘fix’

on the other person. A good way of creating the space in which to understand

the other person’s constructs, without going to the formal extent of a repertory

grid, is by asking them to tell you a story about themselves (Mair, 1989, 1990).